How to plan a vacation that will replenish, not drain you

Dubrovnik, Croatia

What kind of vacationer are you? Do you like to "look at bricks," as a friend of mine jokingly calls city history tours, or do you prefer to soak up the sun, Cheryl Crow style?

I’m a planner, and I love to “look at bricks.” When we fly somewhere new, I do a ton of research and try to pack in as much exploration as possible. My thought is, it cost us a lot of money to come here, and I don’t want to miss anything. Who knows if I’ll ever come back again? We need to see all the things.

My husband and I have done some amazing hikes with gorgeous views. We’ve spotted dolphins, whales, alligators, baby sharks. We have swum with sea turtles and chased waterfalls and strolled along ancient city walls. So you know, I can’t say I have a lot of regrets. 

But I usually come home from these trips a little exhausted. They aren’t very restful.

When my husband and I went to Croatia, it was our first European trip. We stayed in a new city every other day. It was fun, but by the time we got to the island of Hvar halfway through our vacation, we were worn out. The timing was poignant; my husband learned a close friend had passed away. He tried to find a way for us to get back to the U.S. in time for the funeral, but it had taken two flights, a bus and a ferry ride to get to this remote island, and it wouldn’t be possible to get back in time. So we held hands and thought about the fleeting nature of life as we watched the sunset over the Adriatic Sea from our AirBnB balcony. At the beach the next day, we waded in the water and didn’t do a darned thing but relax and process the news. Though there was sadness, I often look back on that day at the beach as one of my favorites of the trip. We were able to just be, and we were surrounded by beauty. 

We’ve traveled a little more since then, and we’ve learned that we prefer to stay in one place a little longer than a day or two. We like to have extra time to chill and have a beer and enjoy a long, leisurely lunch without having to be anywhere to catch a boat tour or a bus. We still get in a lot of great hikes and tours of “bricks,” because who am I kidding, I will never get tired of those things. But I’ve learned that I need to create space to let things soak in and fully experience the scenery and the setting a little more thoroughly for me to have a more satisfying and restorative vacation. 

Mojitos in Miami

One of my favorite recent trips was to Miami. As usual, I had a long list of things I wanted to see and do, but we decided on a few priorities and focused on them. We saw the most amazing murals at Wynwood Walls, had mojitos packed with copious amounts of mint at a little local restaurant, and I had a macadamia nut milk latte I still dream about. We did a lot of leisurely wandering, exploring the many other murals in the neighborhood around Wynwood Walls, and as the sun was at its peak, we ducked into a local brewery and had refreshing beers with hints of lime as the a/c cooled us off and we chatted with the bartender. It was relaxing, and refreshingly agenda-free.  

I am by no means a pro traveler. Thankfully, I have a lot of friends who are, and they’ve given me valuable tips and tricks. But I do know that part of planning a successful trip means identifying what’s important to me and my husband, choosing priorities, and making sure we have time to actually process and enjoy what we are seeing and doing instead of rushing from one thing to the next. 

How do you plan for a restorative vacation? I’d love to hear your ideas.

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