Guest post: 5 dos and don’ts of following your dreams
From the guest post: "Your timeline is your own. Society loves to tell us we have to have it all figured out right after college, but this simply isn’t true."
How to keep your eye on the prize, even when others don’t yet see your vision
Note: This post was written by a dear writer friend at my request after they shared their story with me. They asked to remain anonymous.
Picture this:
You’re a 22-year-old English major meeting with your mentor, a professor who has historically inspired and uplifted you. After four years of being uncertain of your career path post-grad, you’ve finally admitted to yourself that you want to follow in their footsteps and teach. You expect that they’ll encourage your dream, but when you tell them your news, they say, it isn’t worth it. It’s competitive. It’s hard. Stick with your original plan: work in an office, not a school.
You take it to heart; they know me well, and if they think I can’t do it, they must be right. You graduate and work several different office jobs that never feel quite right, but every time your mind wanders back to teaching, you hear the professor’s voice in your head. After five years of unfulfilling work followed by the existential dread of a global pandemic, you’re so anxious and burned out you barely recognize yourself.
You go to therapy and take online writing classes, determined to come back to the creative, joyful person you know is buried within you. Little by little, things start to shift. You learn to trust your own voice. You build a portfolio of creative projects, a wealth of coping mechanisms, and, eventually, enrollment in a teaching licensure program.
Again, you’re met with unexpected discouragement; professors, family, and friends say, you will burn out even faster in this field. The American school system is broken. Covid killed students’ empathy, attention span, and desire to learn. But this time, you’re listening to their advice AND keeping your eye on the prize. Yes, it will be hard, but you are capable, driven, and impassioned.
I have gratitude for the perspective and empathy my low points have granted me, but I can’t help but wish I’d been able to shut out external voices and follow my dreams sooner. If you’re feeling discouraged, nervous, or uncertain about your own dreams, consider these five tips:
Take others’ advice and critique with a grain of salt. Remember that their words are not always personal; when you get particularly negative feedback on your goals, it may be a projection of how they feel about their own experiences.
Let yourself feel it all: the highs and the lows. It’s likely not going to be an easy or straightforward road, even when you’re on the right path. Therapy and wellness coaching are immensely helpful in processing these big emotions.
If the people in your life aren’t seeing your vision, don’t be afraid to meet new people. Join a club or class with people who have similar goals and uplift one another. Having a sense of community makes the hard days so much more manageable.
Don’t compare yourself to others who are ahead of you on your path. Your timeline is your own. Society loves to tell us we have to have it all figured out right after college, but this simply isn’t true.
Find strength in your own unique perspective and taste. In an interview with the Tape Notes Podcast, award-winning musician Finneas (brother to Billie Eilish) shared some invaluable advice he received when he was a teenager: “It’s really important that you understand the delineation between the correct way to do something and whether you like it or not. [...] Your taste is what really matters, and it’s also going to be your greatest defense.”